Letting Go and Letting God: Forgiveness After Divorce (I Know, Ugh)
Forgiveness? Ugh. Not Today.
Let’s just keep it real, sis.
Forgiveness is not cute. It’s not Pinterest-worthy. And it’s definitely not easy when someone has broken your heart, your trust, and your spirit.
When people told me, “Just forgive and move on,” I wanted to lay hands—and foot. 🙄
But here’s the truth I learned (the hard way):
Forgiveness is not about letting them off the hook.
It’s about letting yourself off the hook.
Because holding on to bitterness felt like drinking poison… and hoping he would feel it. But all it did was corrode my peace.
What Forgiveness Actually Looks Like
Forget what you’ve seen in movies.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean:
You trust them again
You pretend it didn’t hurt
You invite them to brunch
Forgiveness means:
You stop rehearsing the pain like a playlist on repeat
You give God permission to deal with them, while you deal with healing
You choose freedom over fury
And no, it doesn’t happen overnight.
In fact, the first time I said, “I forgive him,” I whispered it like it was laced with acid. 😬
It didn’t feel holy—it felt fake.
But I said it anyway.
And I kept saying it until it started to feel less like a lie… and more like a lifeline.
My Personal Turning Point
There’s a moment I shared in Pathway to Peace where I felt God ask me,
“Do you want to be right? Or do you want to be happy?”
Ouch.
I had spent years building a case against him. I could list every wrong, every betrayal. It made me feel powerful—until I realized that clinging to blame was blocking my breakthrough.
The day the Lord asked me to do something huge and I said yes out of obedience to God, I cried ugly tears.
But afterward? I felt 10 pounds lighter.
That’s what forgiveness does.
It doesn’t erase the story—it rewrites the ending.
✝️ What the Bible Says (That Doesn’t Make It Easier)
“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” — Ephesians 4:32
God isn’t asking you to forgive because they deserve it.
He’s asking because you deserve peace.
🧘🏾♀️ Want Support with the Process?
If this is the part of your healing that feels impossible, I want to gently invite you to try this free quiz.
You’ll walk through 9 real, heart-check questions to help you figure out what’s still weighing you down and how it might be shaping the way you see yourself (and your life) right now.
🛒 Discover If Your Heart Is Still Healing: A Self-Reflection Quiz »
It’s not about rushing. It’s about releasing.
💛 A Soul-Clearing Exercise
Take a piece of paper and write:
“I release you from my heart, not because it was okay… but because I need peace.”
Read it aloud.
Then tear it up. Burn it (safely). Flush it.
Do whatever makes you feel like you’re taking control and choosing peace today.
And remember—forgiveness is for you.
